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Love Related Jokes and Relationship Humor Archive
Personals-Free-Personals.com would like to welcome you to our funny relationship humor and jokes archive! Literally hundreds of spam free jokes, pictures and parodies for your enjoyment.
A humorous look at how men and women differ via our light hearted battle of the sexes!
We also feature interesting sex facts and statistics , amazing world sex records and related trivia. All humor pages are pop up free and unlike most every other site, we don't attempt to download any funky spyware programs to your computer or enable java scripts to track your movements.
Find the largest compilation of jokes and satire that will tickle your funny bone, and maybe even make you think! Though most the archive is rather tame compared to most other sites with similiar content, the material is intended for adults only, 18 years of age and older. We hope you get a nice giggle or two and thank you for dropping by!
It's
a well known fact that women have bisexual tendencies to a varying degree. Most women agree that a woman's
body is much sexier than a man's. What's hard to do is to get a woman to admit she has
fantasized about a lesbian encounter, and even if you get that far you will still run into some
difficulty getting her to agree to a threesome. In some cases, however, it might surprise you how
willing they
coule be. Before we get into specifics about convincing your significant other that a threesome
would be a right thing to do, let's go over
all the variables.
Sexual reality dictates that it's every guy's ultimate fantasy to have two women at the same time, but women don't usually fantasize about sharing their man with another woman. It's quite a challenge for any guy to make it happen, and some women will never do it, but any guy's odds will improve with the right approach..Guess what? That's exactly what will be diving into!
So, I do not recommend a threesome with a friend! An acquaintance, however, is a different story. There are some very attractive, clean, well-educated, successful people out there who happen to be very sexual. Just because they are not already a friend of yours doesn't mean that they are not worthy of being your third person in a threesome.
As far as having a threesome more than once with the same person is concerned, again I would have to say it really depends on the people. It depends if the couple is secure enough, if the third party is non-threatening in any way, and whether or not this is something the couple initially wanted to do it as a one-time experience or if this is something the couple planned to do on a somewhat regular basis. These are topics that simply cannot be generalized, because every situation is different. I've had my share of one-time affairs as the guest that worked out great. Yet, I've also known various couples throughout the years that I would spend time with regularly, and that worked too. So, you really have to see where the first experience takes you, and all three parties obviously must want the same thing. If the experience was great and there was no jealousy involved, especially if the guest is not a good friend, I would definitely go for it again! So, it truly depends on the circumstances.
Where to Find a Third?
A swing club is a great source to find others who are looking to experiment and fulfill fantasies; they are still out there (although perhaps not as many as there were years ago). To find swing clubs, simply go to any search engine and type the words, "swing club", once you bypass some of the swing dancing sites, you'll see many sites that actually refer to sex clubs. The recommended option is the Personals on the Internet; they too are a great means for finding someone for a threesome. The Internet Personals are not only designed for couples looking for love, they are usually broken down into categories, so you can search for what you are specifically looking for.
We list all the reputable adult dating sites where you can join for free and check out the prospects. Once satisfied and feeling comfy, you can exchange various photos online first, and you can chat via email or telephone until you feel comfortable enough to meet. Do NOT go to a regular bar or night club and try to pick up someone who you think might be a likely candidate. That's a really good way to very possibly embarrass yourself, not to mention, get slapped?
Tip #1 - Rent a porno with lots of threesomes and lesbian scenes. Whatever you do, don't fast-forward through a lesbian scene, even for a few seconds. Yes, you normally fast forward through all kinds of sex scenes, but remember women don't understand porn at all. If she sees you fast forward through a lesbian scenes she will come to the conclusion you aren't turned on by it and your only motive for having a threesome is to have sex with another woman.
Tip #2 - Let her pick the girl. Tell her she can choose the other girl and you will only have a veto vote. The odds are she will pick someone that isn't as good-looking as she is, but women typically have better taste in woman than men. She won't go too far down the ugly road, after all, she will be having sex with her too.
Tip #3 - The experience is for both of you. Be sincere about it being for both of you. Describe how you think it may feel for her to have her pussy and tits licked at the same time. Avoid any references to you getting pleasure from both of them at the same time. If she says anything about you wanting your cock sucked by two women, don't deny it (that's too obvious), but say you are more interested in seeing her with another woman. Even offer to not touch the other girl at all.
If you manage to convince her to try a threesome there are some rules you will have to remember if you ever want it to happen again.
Rule #1. - Always pay more attention to your woman.
Rule #2. - After you're done, never talk about how sexy you thought the other girl was on her own. Only talk about how sexy the situation was and how sexy they looked together. Make sure that your girlfriend is the center of any story and refer to the other women as being more of a catalyst than an active participant.
Rule #3. - Never tell your friends about your sexual adventures. What happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom, unless of course your friends are local swingers.
Here are some common excuses that women will come up with for not have a threesome.
Excuse #1 - I don't know if I will like having sex with another woman. Let her go solo. She may be afraid to try it the first time with you. She's worried if she tries a threesome and doesn't like it she will feel pressured to do it again, and then have more concerns that you only want to do it to have sex with another woman. The odds are if she does have a lesbian affair she will like it and this is one hurdle that you have overcome.
Excuse #2 - It will have a lasting negative effect on our relationship. There is nothing you can say to counter this argument. Only actions will make this one go away. Even if you think your girlfriend is gorgeous you can guarantee there is at least one thing she doesn't like about her body. She is afraid you will pick someone who has a better butt (or whatever she feels her flaw is) and decide you like the other girl better. Only when she feels secure you love her and want her above anyone else will she consider a threesome.
Here are some of the ways to make her believe that you only want her.
1. Never insult the way your girlfriend or wife looks. Always tell her she is beautiful and sexy. If she isn't then at least play up her good features and never mention her bad ones.
2. Don't gawk at women on the street or on TV. Women immediately look at the girl to see what feature is nicer on her and assume it is what you like the best.
3. Be romantic and make her believe you have eyes only for her.
4. If your girlfriend is the type of person that points out women to you, make sure that you find something negative about that girl and say that your girlfriend looks better. HINT: If the girl is thinner then your girlfriend, say that she doesn't have enough meat on her bones.
Excuse #3 - If you get a threesome with two women, I get a threesome with two men. This may be a deal breaker. The whole two guys and a girl thing is kind of gay. Just the idea of being in the same room with another naked guy can make some men loose their erection. Plus a lot of guys suffer from stage fright.
Call her bluff. Most women do not like the idea of having sex with two men. It's a porno scenario. If she doesn't like anal sex you can deter her from using this argument by claiming her ass in a double penetration scenario. Remind her that doing a threesome with two women isn't for your benefit, it's for her. You just want to see her with another woman.
Excuse #4 - We can't find another woman without looking like freaks. Women do not like people knowing what goes on in their bedroom, especially if it can be looked down upon. You may have one of her friends in mind but it is unlikely she will ever get the courage to ask her. Your chances are much better if you tell her that there are ways to find a woman without anyone knowing or thinking you're weird. Use an Internet dating service to find the right woman. They have millions of members all over the world that are looking for new experiences and new partners. Have fun going through the database together checking out women interested in experimenting with a threesome.
We also feature interesting sex facts and statistics , amazing world sex records and related trivia. All humor pages are pop up free and unlike most every other site, we don't attempt to download any funky spyware programs to your computer or enable java scripts to track your movements.
Find the largest compilation of jokes and satire that will tickle your funny bone, and maybe even make you think! Though most the archive is rather tame compared to most other sites with similiar content, the material is intended for adults only, 18 years of age and older. We hope you get a nice giggle or two and thank you for dropping by!
It's
a well known fact that women have bisexual tendencies to a varying degree. Most women agree that a woman's
body is much sexier than a man's. What's hard to do is to get a woman to admit she has
fantasized about a lesbian encounter, and even if you get that far you will still run into some
difficulty getting her to agree to a threesome. In some cases, however, it might surprise you how
willing they
coule be. Before we get into specifics about convincing your significant other that a threesome
would be a right thing to do, let's go over
all the variables. Sexual reality dictates that it's every guy's ultimate fantasy to have two women at the same time, but women don't usually fantasize about sharing their man with another woman. It's quite a challenge for any guy to make it happen, and some women will never do it, but any guy's odds will improve with the right approach..Guess what? That's exactly what will be diving into!
Con't from page One - Threesome Sex with your Spouse:
Page 1So, I do not recommend a threesome with a friend! An acquaintance, however, is a different story. There are some very attractive, clean, well-educated, successful people out there who happen to be very sexual. Just because they are not already a friend of yours doesn't mean that they are not worthy of being your third person in a threesome.
As far as having a threesome more than once with the same person is concerned, again I would have to say it really depends on the people. It depends if the couple is secure enough, if the third party is non-threatening in any way, and whether or not this is something the couple initially wanted to do it as a one-time experience or if this is something the couple planned to do on a somewhat regular basis. These are topics that simply cannot be generalized, because every situation is different. I've had my share of one-time affairs as the guest that worked out great. Yet, I've also known various couples throughout the years that I would spend time with regularly, and that worked too. So, you really have to see where the first experience takes you, and all three parties obviously must want the same thing. If the experience was great and there was no jealousy involved, especially if the guest is not a good friend, I would definitely go for it again! So, it truly depends on the circumstances.
Where to Find a Third?A swing club is a great source to find others who are looking to experiment and fulfill fantasies; they are still out there (although perhaps not as many as there were years ago). To find swing clubs, simply go to any search engine and type the words, "swing club", once you bypass some of the swing dancing sites, you'll see many sites that actually refer to sex clubs. The recommended option is the Personals on the Internet; they too are a great means for finding someone for a threesome. The Internet Personals are not only designed for couples looking for love, they are usually broken down into categories, so you can search for what you are specifically looking for.
We list all the reputable adult dating sites where you can join for free and check out the prospects. Once satisfied and feeling comfy, you can exchange various photos online first, and you can chat via email or telephone until you feel comfortable enough to meet. Do NOT go to a regular bar or night club and try to pick up someone who you think might be a likely candidate. That's a really good way to very possibly embarrass yourself, not to mention, get slapped?
Getting the Wife or Girlfriend to agree to a Menage A Trois Experience
Start off by telling her you want to watch her with another woman. The key is to make it seem like you are not interested in fucking someone else and open the door to a discussion about lesbian sex. You want having a threesome to be something you do together as a couple, for her benefit as much as yours.Tip #1 - Rent a porno with lots of threesomes and lesbian scenes. Whatever you do, don't fast-forward through a lesbian scene, even for a few seconds. Yes, you normally fast forward through all kinds of sex scenes, but remember women don't understand porn at all. If she sees you fast forward through a lesbian scenes she will come to the conclusion you aren't turned on by it and your only motive for having a threesome is to have sex with another woman.
Tip #2 - Let her pick the girl. Tell her she can choose the other girl and you will only have a veto vote. The odds are she will pick someone that isn't as good-looking as she is, but women typically have better taste in woman than men. She won't go too far down the ugly road, after all, she will be having sex with her too.
Tip #3 - The experience is for both of you. Be sincere about it being for both of you. Describe how you think it may feel for her to have her pussy and tits licked at the same time. Avoid any references to you getting pleasure from both of them at the same time. If she says anything about you wanting your cock sucked by two women, don't deny it (that's too obvious), but say you are more interested in seeing her with another woman. Even offer to not touch the other girl at all.
If you manage to convince her to try a threesome there are some rules you will have to remember if you ever want it to happen again.
Rule #1. - Always pay more attention to your woman.
Rule #2. - After you're done, never talk about how sexy you thought the other girl was on her own. Only talk about how sexy the situation was and how sexy they looked together. Make sure that your girlfriend is the center of any story and refer to the other women as being more of a catalyst than an active participant.
Rule #3. - Never tell your friends about your sexual adventures. What happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom, unless of course your friends are local swingers.
Here are some common excuses that women will come up with for not have a threesome.
Excuse #1 - I don't know if I will like having sex with another woman. Let her go solo. She may be afraid to try it the first time with you. She's worried if she tries a threesome and doesn't like it she will feel pressured to do it again, and then have more concerns that you only want to do it to have sex with another woman. The odds are if she does have a lesbian affair she will like it and this is one hurdle that you have overcome.
Excuse #2 - It will have a lasting negative effect on our relationship. There is nothing you can say to counter this argument. Only actions will make this one go away. Even if you think your girlfriend is gorgeous you can guarantee there is at least one thing she doesn't like about her body. She is afraid you will pick someone who has a better butt (or whatever she feels her flaw is) and decide you like the other girl better. Only when she feels secure you love her and want her above anyone else will she consider a threesome.
Here are some of the ways to make her believe that you only want her.
1. Never insult the way your girlfriend or wife looks. Always tell her she is beautiful and sexy. If she isn't then at least play up her good features and never mention her bad ones.
2. Don't gawk at women on the street or on TV. Women immediately look at the girl to see what feature is nicer on her and assume it is what you like the best.
3. Be romantic and make her believe you have eyes only for her.
4. If your girlfriend is the type of person that points out women to you, make sure that you find something negative about that girl and say that your girlfriend looks better. HINT: If the girl is thinner then your girlfriend, say that she doesn't have enough meat on her bones.
Excuse #3 - If you get a threesome with two women, I get a threesome with two men. This may be a deal breaker. The whole two guys and a girl thing is kind of gay. Just the idea of being in the same room with another naked guy can make some men loose their erection. Plus a lot of guys suffer from stage fright.
Call her bluff. Most women do not like the idea of having sex with two men. It's a porno scenario. If she doesn't like anal sex you can deter her from using this argument by claiming her ass in a double penetration scenario. Remind her that doing a threesome with two women isn't for your benefit, it's for her. You just want to see her with another woman.
Excuse #4 - We can't find another woman without looking like freaks. Women do not like people knowing what goes on in their bedroom, especially if it can be looked down upon. You may have one of her friends in mind but it is unlikely she will ever get the courage to ask her. Your chances are much better if you tell her that there are ways to find a woman without anyone knowing or thinking you're weird. Use an Internet dating service to find the right woman. They have millions of members all over the world that are looking for new experiences and new partners. Have fun going through the database together checking out women interested in experimenting with a threesome.
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Defining Free Memberships All our reviewed dating sites and matchmaking services offer various types of free memberships or trails. Free can have mean serveral meanings, however. The norm? It means you can place personal ads, search profiles for those that interest you. Some have 3 day to one week trials then you have to pony up to stay online. Others have lifetime free memberships but you must pay to contact. Please read any TOS agreements before committing to any site so you're clear on what promotions are being offered, and when they expire if applicable. You can read our entire article about it here
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